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Housewife Equals Stay-at-home-Mom

If you are one of the lucky moms that gets to stay home with your kids…..Please….never say you are just a housewife. You may often feel like the maid, but years from now your children will brag about the fact you were home when they got on the school bus and when they got off. And today in school, their class mates will be jealous that their friend’s mom is home and theirs is not.

I understand the economics of the 21st century. It takes two incomes to even think of making ends meet. And, this category is based on a two parent household; which is less and less common. Another thought, sometimes the second income isn’t enough to make it worthwhile for one parent to work, so they stay home with the little ones. You need to do what is best for your house, then hold your head up high and own it.

In my day as a child, very few mom’s worked. One income used to be enough to get by on, and daycare wasn’t heard of in my little home town. If there was a latch-key kid, the neighbors looked out for them, no money changed hands. Remember, I am talking little hick town, not city. I didn’t grow up in a city.

When I got home from school my mother and her best friend were often doing some elaborate craft project; leather tooling, copper tooling, caning chairs, making Christmas wreaths with real pine boughs. These things took training and practice. I think scrapbooking is an art, but it doesn’t take much training. I digress. Today, if Mom is home she is expected to be chauffeur, chef, friend and maid. Life was easier in my day, each kid didn’t belong to six groups, and didn’t have an expensive cell-phone in their pocket.

I think I like the old days better, but I’m old. So there you go. My first thought stands, if you are a stay-at-home mom, you are so much more than a housewife. I applaud you.

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11/02/2016 0

Thank an Author

This day was originally designated to thank the many authors that you lean on for entertainment, a bit of learning and for filling many hours with new friends and characters you can’t forget.

I have a new reason to thank an Author. In my quest to become a published author myself, I have joined a local writing group whose members are already published. Each month they have a speaker that teaches a fundamental of the writing process. One such talk was about “building the world” or location of the story and the characters will come automatically. I tried it, it works! Another talk was about build your hero and heroine so you know how they will act in a situation. How do you do that? Say you name your hero Jim Bob because the story is set years ago in the Tennessee hills. If you plan ahead on paper his looks, personality, religion, birth position, education, whether he likes animals, etc., as you write about the situations Jim Bob finds himself in, you will know how he would act. It really is that easy. I learn something useful at every meeting.

On a personal level, one of the authors has helped me learn some key ways to shorten my sentences while at the same time making them more active. It was a “trick” I knew nothing about, yet is so simple once someone shows you how to do it. I am indebted to B.L. She has quickly become a friend and mentor.

The fact authors want to help other authors be successful by helping them learn how to write better has made me thankful in a whole new way. I am now reading their books with a new appreciation. It is a big rush to be able to tell my family and friends, “The lady that wrote this book is a friend of mine.”

The next time you read a book by your favorite author take a minute to think about who helped him/her become a better writer and maybe even send them a thank you note for a story that touches your soul.

11/01/2016 0

Halloween

I grew up in a one-block town. Literally! There was one block, and a few houses that extended off each street. As a youngster in the early ’60’s when planning a costume for Halloween you had to pick one of three goals: not be recognizable; be the most unusual; or the most outlandish. There were many houses in town that the lady had to figure out who you were before you got your candy. Sometimes it could be a slow process. It was fun if you could stump them. No one wore just a mask! My favorite house gave out homemade caramel popcorn balls (Nice big ones.) Another house wanted us to come inside for cider and doughnuts. We went there last.

Back then the full size candy bars of today only cost five cents. We got a lot of them; they didn’t have to be checked before we ate them and parents didn’t go with their kids. My father had an antique business in the ’70’s and ’80’s in that same little town. He gave out huge candy bars. The Hershey bars that were 4 inches by 8 inches! He called them his security system. He never locked the doors of the big house turned shop. Occasionally he would hear of some shenanigans in town and chuckle that his house was never touched because the “Kids” would protect it from others.

My mother had a friend that lived out in the country, so she would come to our house to see the trick-or-treaters. She purposely parked her car where the windows would get soaped saying it needed to be washed at least once a year. Then it got waxed. She parked it out back in our barn after that.

We would often have about 100 trick-or-treaters and it was a fun evening we planned and looked forward to for weeks. There was a Halloween parade in school, and carved pumpkins on most steps. Now I live in suburbia and my street has no sidewalks or streetlights. The most visitors we have ever had for Halloween is nine. It’s a good thing I have good memories.

10/31/2016 1

Day of the Deployed and the Family too

National Day of the Deployed honors all of the brave men and woman who have been deployed, are sacrificing, or have sacrificed their lives to defend our country. The day also acknowledges their families who are separated from them during deployment and the sacrifices they make in order for their family members to serve our country.

WOW! A military recognition day that also honors the family left at home. I’ve been in that position and it isn’t easy! You function as a single parent the best you can (and get used to being in charge) then your spouse returns home, and thinks he is in charge. It’s always an adjustment to relearn how to share the responsibilities of the family and household. Today, it’s almost as common to have the Mom gone instead of the Dad. I would guess that’s even more difficult if the separation is for a long time.

When my nephew was deployed during Dessert Storm, I sent him the Sunday comics each week. I got more than one letter of thanks, and it is still mentioned at the holiday dinner table. He laughs, “If I had been a drinking man, I would have charged rent on them. As it was, there became a pecking order of who got to read them when I was finished. They got passed along until they were tattered.” Those funny papers were a touch of American life and home for the guys deployed.

I recently attended a church service where a young man was recognized before being deployed to Iraq the following week. He told us he would be back in a year, if all went well. I hate to admit, when we said good-bye to Dillon, we were all thinking, I hope you do come back. It made sending him off a little harder to do.

These days the deployed can communicate much easier with home via cell phones and Skype. I thought it would make deployment easier on both sides, but a good friend, a Captain in the Army, told me it makes it more difficult for some, because the parent at home shares all the troubles (car won’t start, mother-in-law didn’t send a birthday card, child is acting out because they don’t understand where Dad/Mom is) and the person deployed can’t do anything from so far away except feel guilty for not being there. As I said, it isn’t easy.

If you know someone who is deployed, may I suggest you take the time to send them a card or stop by their house and ask the family if they need something done. I promise, they will appreciate knowing someone recognizes the sacrifice they are making for the U.S.A.

10/26/2016 0

Mother-in-law Day

It’s National Mother-in-law Day. Some people have the good fortune to get one they like and some don’t. It’s a lot of work to make a marriage last, then you add trying to get along with the spouse’s family and anything can happen. Sometimes a bond can take a while to develop, other times it’s obvious from the start there will never be one. I say, keep trying if there is some hope. It can add to the happiness of your marriage.

I consider myself to be a good mother-in-law for one main reason. My kitchen is usually quiet, clean and not overheated by the stove being in use all day on almost every holiday and family birthday. How can that be? Because I don’t care what day we eat turkey, or open presents; it could be two weeks early or a few days late, just as long as it happens. My adult kids spend all the holidays and sometimes their birthdays with their significant other’s family because there are some mothers-in-law that have rigid rules of attendance. I’m proud to not be one of them.

I know a family that is having a major discussion because the family reunion date picked for 2017 falls on the birthday of a two-year old. I say the parents and grandparents come to the reunion so everyone can finally meet the baby, then have a second birthday party with the other side of the family a week later. The baby won’t know what is happening and won’t remember it anyway. But, I am not in charge, so shall keep my opinion to myself, unless you count my talking about it here. Setting the date for any large group of people is a thankless job. It always falls on a date that upsets someone. I mention this tidbit because it’s an example of a stringent date keeper.

We could get carried away and mention shopping on Thanksgiving in the U.S. Personally I like that the stores are open because every time I hear an advertisement about being home with the family I know I’m not going to be. I would rather have my family home on a different day when I don’t have to share them with two other houses they must appear at so they don’t upset someone or hear about it later.

I’ll toot my own horn about this particular aspect of being a good mother-in-law and hope even if you don’t agree with my view point, you’ll understand it works well for me.

10/23/2016 0

Go With a Friend

It’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and today is National Mammography Day. We all know someone who has dealt with this disease. Some people beat it and too many do not.

Where I live, there is a large office that a lot of women choose to have their mammo’s at because it has the best reputation for early diagnosis, which is key. But, it is so big, I shy away from it. Women are funny creatures. We are all there for the same reason, but we sit in the waiting room like we’ve never seen another woman before. No one speaks and it’s more than tense. Anonymity doesn’t really exist because they call most of the woman to the same room in a parade. Those are the ones that have no problem. Then someone is called to the OTHER room and everyone knows her results were either inconclusive, or worse. It’s scary. I recently filled out a survey and it wanted to know what the worst part of the procedure was. I answered; the sense of fear in the room.

I have a suggestion. Go to your next Mammogram with a friend. Plan far enough ahead so you can make your appointments at nearly the same time and make a fun day of it. Go shopping, or to lunch afterwards. At least have a buddy to pass the time with while you wait so the time goes faster and your mind isn’t playing dirty tricks on you. I also have one request; please don’t sit chewing and snapping gum while you wait. It might calm your nerves, but not mine. I happen to hate that sound on a good day, and in that situation it would make me want to get violent. That’s supposed to make you smile!

If you think about it, there probably isn’t a handful days in any given month that you don’t see, or hear about the pink ribbon and/or breast cancer. It’s a serious thing. Take care of your ta-tas and go get them squeezed on a regular basis. You might not want to but the peace of mind after is worth every minute it takes. And go with a friend to make it more fun.

10/21/2016 0

Sue Spitulnik

Writing, Sewing, Travel, and Thoughts

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