people

Recognition Goes a Long Way

I’m not quite sure why they chose the above picture for Get to Know Your Customers Day. I would have taken a picture of someone paying for something in a small retail store. Hopefully you have a good memory of a local Mom and Pop store where your parents shopped and the owners called them by name, or you now have a friendly coffee shop where you don’t have to tell the Barista how you want your drink prepared or a bartender that sets up your beer as you walk in the door.

I’m a name nut. I can’t remember who sings what song, but I can probably tell you all the names of my high school class mates. Mind you, there were only 72 in my graduating class. I can even tell you which teachers were my older sister’s favorites. When my children were dating, they didn’t tell me about a new interest without being able to tell me who she/he was related to in our area because they knew I would ask. My sisters call to ask about family connections from our original hometown when they can’t remember.

I worked in a quilting fabric store for thirteen years. I could greet about half of the people that shopped there by first name. It’s easy for me and I believe it made each customer feel welcome and special. My boss might tell you I did too much personal talking with them. I might agree with her, but I bet most of them aren’t greeted that way now that I no longer work there. In fact, I had another of the employees tell me one day I made the rest of them look bad because I did use first names. When I think of that comment it makes me sad.

My memory is not just about names. I hear from friends and family that they enjoy what I share here; I write about people, passions and experiences that have become part of my life, some are pretty old.

The big box stores and on-line shopping have taken personal customer service out of our shopping experiences. And we all know, getting decent customer service via telephone is often unsatisfactory. There is an answer. Shop local, in privately owned stores. Introduce yourself to the owner and let them know they are meeting your needs. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to get to know each other’s names. I promise they will appreciate getting to know their customer.

10/20/2016 0

Grief Can Do That To You

Today is National Grouch Day. Sesame Street has Oscar the Grouch and he is constantly complaining, about something; anything. He’s a glass-half-empty kind of fellow. The picture above shows a definitely unhappy child: maybe he’s hungry; he didn’t get to have a new toy; he doesn’t know when he’ll see his Mom again because she left in her military uniform; or his father is crying and he’s never seen him do that after talking on his cell. The reason for the tears: he just found out his favorite uncle died.

My husband and I spent the last couple of days at the funeral of his cousin Jerry. The first of fifteen cousins in his generation we had to say good-by to. It can be frightening to think our age naturally puts us in line for it to happen more often and closer to home. The fear of the unknown date can cause you to get grouchy; the riled emotions and sadness can cause you to get grouchy; trying to find a funeral home in a big, unfamiliar city can cause you to get grouchy; and so can the noise being made by other guests in the hotel you are trying to sleep in. It’s an emotional time for everyone involved, especially for the spouse left behind that has to figure out what the “new normal” is going to be.

Jerry had been sick for a long time. Sometimes you couldn’t even tell there was cancer in his system; other times, you didn’t think he would last another week. So when the end finally came, it was not a surprise. How much it hurts was a surprise. We all said it was a blessing he was no longer in pain. We added, he wasn’t here long enough to suit us.

I’ve been to far too many funerals already. I’ll share with you that both of my parents funerals were like a party week. The relatives came, the neighbors, the friends. People we hadn’t seen in a long time made contact with calls, cards, and flowers. It was festive. The pain set in afterwards when the house was quiet, and the company disappeared. Then the mind asks, “What just happened?”

Jerry’s funeral was like that. Cousins converged on Baltimore from Chicago, Boston, Knoxville, TN, Rochester, NY, and Miami. Friends came from next door, Washington, DC and Maine. We laughed about some memories and cried over others. We hugged each other; we said I love you. One of the family members didn’t speak to me and it really hurt my feelings. I thought he was mad at me, but then I found out he didn’t talk to hardly anyone. Grief can do that to you when you aren’t ready to face it yet.

I know this isn’t my usual type post, and there are lots of other reasons to be a grouch, but this reason is on my mind. The National Day of calendar suggests spending time with a grouch on this day and give them a reason to smile or pass them one of your own. It may help them be less of a grouch, and just maybe help them to heal from the pain of loss.

10/15/2016 0

Visit your Child’s School?

The titles on the National Day of Calendar can evoke much different thoughts than what the day was actually set up to recognize. When I saw the title, Take Your Parents to Lunch, I had visions of my adult children calling to invite me to meet them for lunch, during their work day. That would be possible for me because I’m retired, and I could meet them at their place and time of choice; in my son’s case, an hour from my house.

Alas, when I read the description, it is meant for younger parents to visit their child’s school and go to lunch with them in the cafeteria. Mostly to learn about the process and see what a good job the school does feeding their child. I’m a dinosaur, parents didn’t visit us in school when I went to grade school. [And we didn’t text all day either.] I do know a lady who had lunch with her daughter every day in school through fifth grade. That girl just graduated from high school and choose to go to Arizona for college. That’s a mighty long way from New York state. None of us wonder why except her Mom. I guess you can be too involved. I think the term for that now is a “helicopter mom”. It’s not always easy to find a good balance that fits the mother’s and child’s emotional needs.

Sitting here, I can’t remember ever eating out with my father. Stopping for ice cream, yes. The only time I can remember doing it with my mother was at a church dinner. But, we lived in rural New York state. At that time, fast food places were only in the cities, and we didn’t go to restaurants unless it was a very special occasion. Now, they are both gone, so I can’t take them to lunch. I’m jealous of people my age that still have their folks to talk to and spend time with.

I’ll suggest you make this day work for you the way that is best for your circumstances. Or maybe, borrow someone else’s parents to take out, just because you can. Or call your own kids, and invite them out, without a reason. Often times we don’t realize how fast time goes. Take advantage while you can to take every opportunity to go to lunch with your children, or parents, or cousins, or neighbors, or special friends.

10/12/2016 0

Not an Ordained Rabbi

Temple Beth-El in Hornell, NY, had a celebration to recognize its inclusion in the National Register of Historic Places on Sunday, October 9, 2016. The building itself is not impressive to look at. It is “Minimal Tradition” in style, and small compared to what the mind thinks of when it hears the word temple, or synagogue. As we learned in the dedication yesterday, it’s not what the building looks like, it’s the people who make its heart beat that are important.

There were thirteen of my husband’s family there because their grandfather was instrumental in making the congregation a thriving entity back in the ’40s when there was a large contingency of Jewish people living in Hornell. Today, that is not the case. The Temple is only open for the fall High Days, Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur.

Since the year 2000, the services have been led by a teacher from a Jewish school in Washington, D.C. We call him our visiting Rabbi, but he will tell you, “I’m not ordained.” We still call him Rabbi out of respect and love. My husband and I had the privilege of having him stay in our home Saturday night and taking him to the event on Sunday. We do not keep a kosher home and I was concerned about what to feed him. Somewhere in the conversation we remembered from sharing other meals with him, that he doesn’t eat meat, and he loves fruit. I relaxed a little.

The question in our modern world of travel is always, will the plane be on time. He was supposed to arrive at 11:30pm Saturday evening. Well, that turned into 3:00am Sunday morning. When we got back to the house, Paul had a meal of fresh fruit, cheese, hard-boiled eggs, peanuts and three peanut butter cookies. He did join us for a cheese omelet late Sunday morning.

The celebration was a HUGE success. The Temple was full to almost overflowing. A sight to behold when you know what it looks like on a high day. A few people did a lot of work to make the registration happen. We are proud to be a part of the heart beat. So what’s the point of all this? Our cousin took our “Rabbi” back to D.C after the service. Before they left, he whispered to me, “What do I feed him? Can I stop at a restaurant?” I laughed, relieved to know I wasn’t the only one with that question. I had packed them a bag with fruit, hard-boiled eggs, and cookies, but I meant it as a snack. I’ll have to find out if they stopped someplace.

We appreciate that Paul leads our services every fall. You ought to hear how fast he can speak Hebrew! [Note; he looks nothing like the above picture and doesn’t wear a collar.]

10/10/2016 0

Double Bubble and Baseball

Today is National Mulled Cider Day. I had intended to write about that yummy, refreshing cider that you simmer on the stove with orange peel, cinnamon, nutmeg and any other spice of your choice to fill the house with scents of fall and then enjoy the hot spicy flavor as it trickles down your throat, maybe accompanied by a fried cake doughnut, but Chewing Gum has much more interesting facts.

When I was a kid we had to choose between Double Bubble or Bazooka if we wanted a chewing gum to make big bubbles with. I have a lot of hot air, I was good at big bubbles. Used to drive my mother nuts. “If you are going to chew gum, KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED!” I’ve become her, there is nothing more irritating to me than someone chewing gum with their mouth open and cracking it with every chew. If I owned a retail store or a sports team, my employees would not be allowed to chew gum while on camera or while taking care of a customer. In the dugout, or on the bench would be allowable. According to the following facts, chewing gum is a stress reliever. I’ll accept that, my rules would stay the same.

Various forms of chewing gum have existed since the Neolithic period. In 2007, a British archeology student discovered a 5,000-year-old piece of chewing gum which was made from bark tar with tooth imprints in it. Presumed to be the oldest piece of chewing gum, it was found in Kierikki, Yli-li, Finland. Made from bark tar, the gum was believed to have antiseptic properties and other medicinal advantages.

Many other cultures chewed gum made from the resin of the mastic tree, from plants, grasses, and other resins.
In 1848, John B. Curtis developed and sold the first commercial chewing gum which was called “The State of Maine Pure Spruce Gum”.
Around 1850, a gum made from paraffin wax was developed and surpassed the spruce gum in popularity.
December 28, 1869, William Semple filed an early patent on chewing gum, patent number 98,304.
Studies show chewing gum helps improve memory, reduce stress and increase alertness.
Chewing sugar-free gum improves overall oral hygiene while also helping to curb cravings and improving digestion.

Do you know if you ever get lost in the woods and are thirsty or need to freshen your mouth you can take a wad of pine pitch off a pine tree and chew it. If you happen to swallow it, it will pass through like other things do. The myth that gum stays in your intestines is not true. Have a colonoscopy and you can verify that.

Back to baseball. There are less than five games left of the regular season, then the playoffs, and finally the World Series. If you notice when they show the dugouts, where the teams sit for you non sports people, there are plastic buckets of Bubble Yum. The players seem to always be chewing on something. I have even seen them popping a big bubble all over their face and trying to get the gum off before their next at-bat. Keep in mind, they are mostly between the age of 20 and 40. (How they chew those sunflower seeds and spit the shells, I haven’t mastered.)

I should also mention Black Jack, Juicy Fruit, Spearmint, Dentyne, Big Red and Teaberry gum. You have to be my age to remember some of those. They weren’t good for blowing bubbles, and they lost their “flavor on the bedpost overnight”.

Afterthought….my husband’s favorite baseball team clinched their division. He’s now rooting for best record. Then we’ll move on to football coaches chewing their cud!

09/30/2016 0

Share A Cold One

In my life, there are a lot of beer drinkers. A greeting when we visit someone, or they visit our house, is, “Ya wann’ beer?” Our second fridge in the garage has a few kinds of beer in it. Some of the new exotic stuff for my daughter and good old-fashioned Budweiser for my husband. My son has just switched to Miller, and to do away with gluten I have switched to hard cider. There’s nothing better on a hot steamy day, than a cold refreshing long neck. (For you non beer drinkers, that term refers to the neck on the bottle.)

When my husband and I first started dating, he and his co-workers went our for Friday happy hour without fail. Sometimes there were just six of us, other times there would be close to twenty. I would start watching the clock at my job, waiting for the phone call to tell me where everyone was meeting. That was fifteen years ago and I can still tell you some of the exact conversations that took place and what we laughed about. The crowd dwindled when one of the young ladies got pregnant, a couple guys decided to loose weight, and others changed jobs. We miss those days, and the closeness of that group. We have a reunion twice a year just to stay in touch.

We have some very close friends and relatives that have had the opportunity to travel Europe and parts of Asia. The young men involved rate the countries according to how well they like the beer. I haven’t heard much about food except the meals in Germany.

My grade school chum and I get together for lunch about every three weeks. We don’t sit in a chain restaurant with a cup of coffee, we sit in a bar, eat chicken wings or burgers and drink beer. Yes, there is now gluten-free beer. We have a lot of laughs, we tell each other our secrets, new and old (which no one else can hear over the music) and we forget our responsibilities for awhile. We talk about current events and the family members we have buried. We’ve known each other a long time, she’s my best friend.

And don’t forget it’s football season. Who in their right mind would watch a football game without a cold beer to go along with the snacks. I know, a lot of people would, but generally not in my realm. Go Bills! (We never lose hope!)

09/28/2016 0

Sue Spitulnik

Writing, Sewing, Travel, and Thoughts

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