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Sue Spitulnik

Writing, Sewing, Travel, and Thoughts

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family

#FlashFictionChallenge-The Mesh of Marriage

Charli Mills at Carrot Ranch Literary community has given the word “mesh” for this weeks flash fiction challenge. Here  is my offering using mesh as a verb. This is the link  https://carrotranch.com/2017/11/16/november-16-flash-fiction-challenge-2/.

“Melding two people in marriage is like weaving your personalities into a strong mesh. Today I know your special mesh is as fine as Lilly’s wedding veil. It is my duty to warn you, life will present trials that will stretch the spaces and even create holes. Disputes can be about anything from whether to have children, how to spend your money, or deal with  in-laws. I challenge you to never let your mesh get a hole in it. Do you accept my challenge?”

The reverend eyed the bride’s family as the beaming couple answered in unison, “We do.”

TMI

This is the day we recognize social media and how it has changed our every day lives.  Think about it, depending on your age of course, the time of waiting for news of the birth of a cousin by snail-mail is long gone. We now have instant pictures or videos. I think that’s a good thing and I’m sure every family that is now spread across this nation, or the earth, thinks so too.

On the other hand so many people use social media to bash someone or our government that using it has become a negative instead of a positive. I have to admit, I have unfollowed “friends” who bash others. I have also unfollowed people who post too many details, all negative, about their current relationship or life style. I don’t want to be dragged down by those who won’t take responsibility for their own lives or get help when others have suggested that is what could improve the situation.

My blog is part of social media and I’m sure there are some that look at my titles and think, “Who cares?” That’s all right. My point in writing this was to help myself become a better writer and just maybe inspire some conversation around someone’s dinner table instead of having four heads buried in their phones.

You-Tube is its own being now. You can find anything on You-tube. I do like my favorite genre of music videos. I look up how to do something in my sewing room, and my grandson watches people play and explain video games. There is definitely something for everyone, especially about cooking and travel. My wish is for the people who make the videos to take all the “umm” and “ya know” phrases out of their public speaking. But then again, that’s just my pet peeve.

Social Media is here to stay, unless of course, the power goes out. I think it has made the world a smaller place and I’m not at all sure that is a good thing. See you soon on Facebook!

You Choose Each Other

Today is National Best Friends Day. What do you consider a best friend? My definition includes things like loyal, accepting, someone I could travel with, someone to share secrets with and best of all, you choose each other because it’s fun and comfortable to spend time together. If your best friend is also a blood relative, you are even luckier.

I am very fortunate. I have best friends in different aspects of my life. I have M.B. who I went all through school with and have stayed in close contact with to this day. We know each others personal life secrets and don’t tell. I have 90-year-old V.B. and 76-year-old K.K. who are older women I can bounce life’s challenges off; they have more experience than I do and can share different view points with me. I have my sewing buddies; three ladies who had very similar childhoods to mine. We talk about current events, our families, and quilting— mostly quilting. We laugh a lot together. I also have a lady friend, J.G., who can often explain other people’s actions to me. And then I have my Blog supporters, N.G., K.P., and R.C.. I’ve never met R.C. but she has a blog and is an author and baker. I’m sure if we had a chance to share a cup of tea or coffee, we could talk for hours about our like interests and hug each other at the end of our visit. I also have three older sisters who I am close to. We can actually travel together and enjoy it. I am truly blessed to have so many close female friends. And let’s not leave out my children, who I can complain to and share the joy of the milestones we all accomplish.

The list wouldn’t be complete without including my husband. When we first met he said, “I don’t care about your past. I am interested in the person you have become because of it.” He has always stuck to that, never questioning or berating me for mistakes or decisions I made before I met him. He is my most loyal supporter and because of his acceptance I have been able to grow as a person. He deserves my trust and loyalty because he treats me the way I need to be treated, not the way he thinks I should be and he let’s me be me.

As I write, or sew, or cook, I have another best friend. My cat, Useless. He is my constant companion, will listen to anything I have to say, warms my lap while I nap or read, and doesn’t argue. He can be a pain about wanting to go out and come back in so many times in an evening, but I never come home to an empty house with him here to greet me. He has a bed in my sewing studio and shares my chair with me, or takes it over is more like it. He’s fourteen now and starting to show his age. That makes me sad.

Today would be a good day to tell your best friend(s) how much they mean to you. Life sure would be empty if we didn’t have our favorite humans to share it with.

 

 

Family Craft Time

It’s National Children’s Craft Day. Once again, I am perplexed by the choice of picture for this day. I guess if you let that little person sit on your lap while you are crafting, you create interest that hopefully remains. I would have picked an older child that could actually create something on their own. You know, with popsicle sticks, glue, glitter, colored paper and crayons. Maybe a little help with the scissors would be needed.

As a mother, some of my most cherished heirlooms are things my children made in school or scouts when they were little; as in ages five to ten. Christmas tree ornaments are a prime example. It doesn’t matter how well they were made, or if you even know that brown blob is a camel from the manger scene, it matters that my child made it and when they brought it to me, the expression of excitement and accomplishment on their face is embedded in my memory forever.

That’s the cool thing about crafting. Any age person can do it (according to the type of craft of course), learn about art, learn construction, and have a sense of accomplishment. My grandson, at the age of nine, asked to make a quilt with me, so he could learn the process. I did the cutting with a rotary cutter and ruler, and the pinning. He learned to lay out the color design, sew straight seams and iron by setting the seams first, then pressing to the dark fabric. We had a grand time and his quilt is on his bed. I wish he wanted to do more, but once he learned how the process worked, he was satisfied.

There are so many different types of crafting I can’t begin to even name them all. May I suggest, sit down with your little ones, or borrow some if need be, and make something with your hands. Sharing time with your crafter is almost as rewarding as making something is. Make it a family affair.

Not Just for the Professionals

It’s National Care Givers Day. According to the National Day of calendar this day is set aside to acknowledge, thank, and give credit to professional care givers. Amen to that! Where would we be without our nurses, doctors, technicians, and even the cleaning and cafeteria crews at a hospital; or the staff in our doctor’s office? These people are there when we need them, hopefully it isn’t too often. Note: they get to go home at the end of their shift.

Let’s take this a step further. After a loved one has a knee replaced, with a hospital stay of only two nights, now who is the caregiver? If someone is going through chemo treatments, with rides needed, meals prepared, the house cleaned, and a gentle touch; now who is the caregiver? If someone is in an auto accident that shakes their security to the core, who is their caregiver? You got it, usually it is a family member or friend.

In my circle, I am known as the hospital sitter. I don’t mind sitting quietly, for hours if necessary, in a hospital room, or waiting room, knowing that I am making the patient just a bit calmer. I’ve done it for my husband, the neighbor, my boss, other family members, and a  fellow Harley rider after a terrible accident that left him in a wheelchair. I’m not looking for praise, it’s a way I can calmly give back. There is a down side. On the odd day I’m needing a boost myself, it’s a little too easy to ask, who is taking care of me? Thankfully that thought doesn’t happen often, or last long.

Currently in the U.S. it is socially acceptable and even suggested to tell a military veteran thank you for their service. It’s about time. May I suggest, if you know a caregiver, especially the stay-at-home type, add them to the list of people to say thank you to. By acknowledging the person that needs the care and the caregiver, you let them know you are concerned for both of them. It will mean a lot as the stay-at-home caregiver often doesn’t have an escape like a professional does.

 

Day of the Deployed and the Family too

National Day of the Deployed honors all of the brave men and woman who have been deployed, are sacrificing, or have sacrificed their lives to defend our country. The day also acknowledges their families who are separated from them during deployment and the sacrifices they make in order for their family members to serve our country.

WOW! A military recognition day that also honors the family left at home.  I’ve been in that position and it isn’t easy!  You function as a single parent the best you can (and get used to being in charge) then your spouse returns home, and thinks he is in charge.  It’s always an adjustment to relearn how to share the responsibilities of the family and household.  Today, it’s almost as common to have the Mom gone instead of the Dad.  I would guess that’s even more difficult if the separation is for a long time.

When my nephew was deployed during Dessert Storm, I sent him the Sunday comics each week.  I got more than one letter of thanks, and it is still mentioned at the holiday dinner table.  He laughs, “If I had been a drinking man, I would have charged rent on them.  As it was, there became a pecking order of who got to read them when I was finished.  They got passed along until they were tattered.”  Those funny papers were a touch of American life and home for the guys deployed.

I recently attended a church service where a young man was recognized before being deployed to Iraq the following week.  He told us he would be back in a year, if all went well.  I hate to admit, when we said good-bye to Dillon, we were all thinking, I hope you do come back.  It made sending him off a little harder to do.

These days the deployed can communicate much easier with home via cell phones and Skype.  I thought it would make deployment easier on both sides, but a good friend, a Captain in the Army, told me it makes it more difficult for some, because the parent at home shares all the troubles (car won’t start, mother-in-law didn’t send a birthday card, child is acting out because they don’t understand where Dad/Mom is) and the person deployed can’t do anything from so far away except feel guilty for not being there. As I said, it isn’t easy.

If you know someone who is deployed, may I suggest you take the time to send them a card or stop by their house and ask the family if they need something done.  I promise, they will appreciate knowing someone recognizes the sacrifice they are making for the U.S.A.

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