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Sue Spitulnik

Writing, Sewing, Travel, and Thoughts

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friend

Today’s thank you goes out to Sally S.

I pile things. I don’t mean piles of ten-year-old newspapers in the corners and aisles of my living room like a hoarder. I do mean some sort of pile on most flat surfaces in my home. That means sweatshirts worn once are piled on the chair in my bedroom. It means the catalogs that came at holiday time are still piled on the coffee table waiting for me to look at them. It also means the kitchen island has a few days’ mail, the recipe I might use tomorrow, my cell phone holder, the American Legion Poppy that came off my coat zipper, and this morning’s used coffee cup cluttering it. In the family room, cat toys litter the fireplace hearth, and sewing paraphernalia covers the end of the long table that doesn’t get used when my husband and I eat a meal. Like I said, piles.

This evening we are having Sally over for dinner. That means the piles need to disappear. I should have company once a week so they don’t reappear. I digress.

I’m an organized, pre-planner-type person. Today is Thursday. I started reducing some of my piles on Monday. After attacking another pile, I checked my recipes and made the grocery list on Tuesday. I got the groceries on Wednesday, fussing because the top shelf in the new milk cooler at the store is too high for me to reach. When I got home, I put the groceries away and inspected the common rooms for other things that I needed to put away, hide in the storeroom, or throw out, finally.

This morning I put the pot roast ingredients in the crockpot before going to my dentist appointment and lunch date, knowing I would have time to clean the bathroom, set the table, and even take a quick nap before my husband got home from work and Sally arrived.

I should share; Sally is coming over to bring me some t-shirts that I will work my magic on to turn into a wall hanging. It will be a memorial to her late husband and my dear friend, Dack. Anybody that knows a quilter should understand and accept that quilting is much more important to the “artist” than cleaning the house—or taking care of things instead of piling them on a flat surface.

I sat down to write this summary to give you the opportunity to laugh with me. Today, when I came in the kitchen door from the garage, I did a double-take when I saw the island’s clean surface. For a split second, I wondered where all my “stuff” went. That’s how long it’s been since we’ve had company, and I needed to make my piles disappear.

So, Sally, thank you for asking me to do a sewing project for you and thank you for coming to dinner. I know it will be an enjoyable evening, and for a couple of days, my flat surfaces will remain uncluttered.

I’ll Claim Alan

It’s brother’s day. I’m not sure why they picked the picture above. I would have picked a bunch of young people sitting around a picnic table so everyone could identify with it. I envy all of you that have a brother because I didn’t. Sisters are fine, but you can’t go to them and ask how a male thinks. I claimed my friend Mimi’s brother, Alan, as my own. I used to stay overnight at their house and Alan and I would have talks. When I got stressed in school, it was him who I sought out because he knew what to say to unruffle my feathers. When I had questions about other guys, I went to Alan. He would always take time for me. Continue reading “I’ll Claim Alan”

You Choose Each Other

Today is National Best Friends Day. What do you consider a best friend? My definition includes things like loyal, accepting, someone I could travel with, someone to share secrets with and best of all, you choose each other because it’s fun and comfortable to spend time together. If your best friend is also a blood relative, you are even luckier.

I am very fortunate. I have best friends in different aspects of my life. I have M.B. who I went all through school with and have stayed in close contact with to this day. We know each others personal life secrets and don’t tell. I have 90-year-old V.B. and 76-year-old K.K. who are older women I can bounce life’s challenges off; they have more experience than I do and can share different view points with me. I have my sewing buddies; three ladies who had very similar childhoods to mine. We talk about current events, our families, and quilting— mostly quilting. We laugh a lot together. I also have a lady friend, J.G., who can often explain other people’s actions to me. And then I have my Blog supporters, N.G., K.P., and R.C.. I’ve never met R.C. but she has a blog and is an author and baker. I’m sure if we had a chance to share a cup of tea or coffee, we could talk for hours about our like interests and hug each other at the end of our visit. I also have three older sisters who I am close to. We can actually travel together and enjoy it. I am truly blessed to have so many close female friends. And let’s not leave out my children, who I can complain to and share the joy of the milestones we all accomplish.

The list wouldn’t be complete without including my husband. When we first met he said, “I don’t care about your past. I am interested in the person you have become because of it.” He has always stuck to that, never questioning or berating me for mistakes or decisions I made before I met him. He is my most loyal supporter and because of his acceptance I have been able to grow as a person. He deserves my trust and loyalty because he treats me the way I need to be treated, not the way he thinks I should be and he let’s me be me.

As I write, or sew, or cook, I have another best friend. My cat, Useless. He is my constant companion, will listen to anything I have to say, warms my lap while I nap or read, and doesn’t argue. He can be a pain about wanting to go out and come back in so many times in an evening, but I never come home to an empty house with him here to greet me. He has a bed in my sewing studio and shares my chair with me, or takes it over is more like it. He’s fourteen now and starting to show his age. That makes me sad.

Today would be a good day to tell your best friend(s) how much they mean to you. Life sure would be empty if we didn’t have our favorite humans to share it with.

 

 

I’ll Claim Alan

It’s brother’s day. I’m not sure why they picked the picture above. I would have picked a bunch of young people sitting around a picnic table so everyone could identify with it. I envy all of you that have a brother because I didn’t. Sisters are fine, but you can’t go to them and ask how a male thinks. I claimed my friend Mimi’s brother, Alan, as my own. I used to stay overnight at their house and Alan and I would have talks. When I got stressed in school, it was him who I sought out because he knew what to say to unruffle my feathers. When I had questions about other guys, I went to Alan. He would always take time for me.

I have a young man in my life who I call my  bonus-son. The definition of that is someone I claim as a son, but didn’t have to give birth to. I have decided it would be all right to call Alan my bonus-brother; a male I could depend on like a brother and who cared about me like a sister. He was even better than a brother because he never tried to scare me with a snake, put a frog in my bed or steal my Easter candy. He was a really good friend and confidant. Unfortunately Alan died way too young, so I have been without him for the last 17 years. His sister and I still have lunch together once a month, she remains my most trusted secret-keeper, even as old as we now are, both over 60.

I hope you have siblings in your life that you can depend on and talk to. I know sometimes friends are better than siblings so I hope you have a special few you are close to. Brothers and sisters, in lots of cases, can make life so much easier to deal with.

Go With a Friend

It’s National Breast Cancer Awareness Month and today is National Mammography Day.  We all know someone who has dealt with this disease.  Some people beat it and too many do not.

Where I live, there is a large office that a lot of women choose to have their mammo’s at because it has the best reputation for early diagnosis, which is key.  But, it is so big, I shy away from it.  Women are funny creatures.  We are all there for the same reason, but we sit in the waiting room like we’ve never seen another woman before.  No one speaks and it’s more than tense.  Anonymity  doesn’t really exist because they call most of the woman to the same room in a parade.  Those are the ones that have no problem.  Then someone is called to the OTHER room and everyone knows her results were either inconclusive, or worse.  It’s scary.  I recently filled out a survey and it wanted to know what the worst part of the procedure was.  I answered; the sense of fear in the room.

I have a suggestion.  Go to your next Mammogram with a friend.  Plan far enough ahead so you can make your appointments at nearly the same time and make a fun day of it.  Go shopping, or to lunch afterwards.  At least have a buddy to pass the time with while you wait so the time goes faster and your mind isn’t playing dirty tricks on you.  I also have one request; please don’t sit chewing and snapping gum while you wait. It might calm your nerves, but not mine.  I happen to hate that sound on a good day, and in that situation it would make me want to  get violent. That’s supposed to make you smile!

If you think about it, there probably isn’t a handful days in any given month that you don’t see, or hear about the pink ribbon and/or breast cancer.  It’s a serious thing.  Take care of your ta-tas and go get them squeezed on a regular basis.  You might not want to but the peace of mind after is worth every minute it takes.  And go with a friend to make it more fun.

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