“Mom, I’m thinking of bringing home a girl.”
“What’s holding you back.”
“She has no idea we’re Jewish.”
“Haven’t you talked religion?”
“Only to the point we both admit we believe in God. She thinks I play poker on Friday nights, then sleep late on Saturday.”
“Isn’t that deceptive? What does she do?”
“Calls it her ‘girly night’ to go out drinking with friends “
“Why haven’t you told her you’re Jewish?”
“Because I wasn’t sure she would date me.”
“I don’t think religion is the big sticking point it used to be. What’s her name?”
“Debbie Wesson.”
“Wesson, as in Wesson Oil or Smith and Wesson?”
“Actually she’s a Smith and Wesson great-great-granddaughter.”
“Does her name come with money?”
“Mom!”
Pregnant pause. “Does she shoot?”
“Yes, and hunts, cleans and eats what she kills.”
“Why on earth would you even get to know….what would one call her, a redneck?”
“She’s not a redneck, she’s a realist. Refreshing compared to some of our idealistic cousins.”
“Son, our whole family is white collar.”
“She’s studying law just like I am.”
“It doesn’t sound like she thinks like us.”
“So you’ll accept a non-Jew only if she shares your political beliefs?”
“I’m sure your father will see it that way.”
“Please Mom, what you are not saying?”
“The problem is her background. We will not tolerate an NRA supporter in this house. I strongly suggest you tell her you are Jewish and use that as an excuse to stop seeing her.” Click!
Sue Spitulnik 