The inevitable has happened. We buried my brother-in-law last Friday. It wasn’t even a week ago and it seems like so much more time has passed. Maybe it’s because Christmas happened and I didn’t think about it for a couple of days. I’m not sure, but it has me thinking a lot about time.
You know how it always takes longer to get someplace by car than it does to get back home. I don’t know if it’s the anticipation that it makes it feel like it takes longer, or your desire has been satisfied for making the trip, so getting home is just something you have to do. This happens to me even when I know the route I am taking, like to my sisters, a different one, three hours away or when my girlfriends and I are going on a quilt shop trip.
I’ve also been wondering how much time I have left on this crazy earth and how much time my loved ones and acquaintances have. What is it I want to accomplish before my time is up? There’s my novel, yet unpublished, that needs a lot of my time to get ready. Am I going to finish the task? There’s the writing group I am the new (hesitant) president of. How much of my time will doing a good job for the members take? Am I going to give it my all? That’s the plan, or I wouldn’t have taken the position.
How much time is it going to take my sister to adjust to her new normal? I know that’s different for everyone and she is talking about the future so I think she’s going to be all right. She was really busy with different organizations before her hubby got sick, so she can get reinvolved. She has a good base of activities and friends.
I’m wondering as my grandchildren age too quickly how much time will I get to spend with them in the next few years before they are ready to go off to college in the flash of an eye. Tomorrow we are taking my grandson to the movies and Friday we are taking my granddaughter fabric shopping for the first time so she can make her own decision as to what she wants to cover a footstool made out of milk cartons with. She has worn out the one I made a few years ago. Both ventures will be time well spent.
My husband is on vacation this week and he doesn’t know what to do with his spare time. His hobby is working and being home with no plans is almost a trial for him (and me.) I have lots of hobbies and can fill days with sewing, writing, going to lunch with friends and hanging out with my sister. And I can still get some cleaning, cooking and laundry done. Plus there are those video games on my phone and TV shows I enjoy. All of which take time, but I hold the cat while doing them so that makes her happy. Some things are time well spent and some I have to admit, are time wasted.
There are other kinds of time, like what time do you go to bed and get up. I’ve read that playing video games close to bed time can keep one awake. I’m coming to believe that is true because I went to bed at a decent hour and got up an hour and a half later just to write about time. The outcome being I will get a blog post done, but then I will want to sleep late in the morning and waste good daylight hours. It’s all relative.
So does all this lead back to beer in heaven. Of course. We took my sister dinner tonight just for something to do. Pulling into the drive gave us a jolt because my brother-in-law’s pick-up was parked out-of-the-way instead of being front and center. It made his passing more real than not having him sit at the table with us. We didn’t have beer with our pizza, but you can bet the next time I see him, in heaven, and there is beer available, I’m going to make time to share one with him. Maybe even two. He played a major role in my life and I’m going to miss him. I’m glad he isn’t suffering anymore, but the fact the fun-loving guy (and sometimes crabby) I aged along-side isn’t going to answer my phone calls anymore or offer me a beer when I see him at home will be noticed for a long time to come.
Yes, I know if this piece were critiqued by another reader or teacher I would be told I used the word time way too many times. I agree that’s true, but after all, I am writing about time and there are lots of different meanings, and ways to use it both positive and negative. All in all, it passes a bit quicker with a good cold beer especially when shared with a loved one. That’s my opinion anyway and please forgive me if you don’t happen to agree. RIP Ray.
12/27/2018 at 13:53
This was rather touching. It reminded me of that Good Place quote – why do people spend so much of their lives just waiting for it to be over? A great story to remind us all to tak advantage of and cherish every moment!
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12/27/2018 at 14:54
Thank you. Ray’s death fits into the “it was a blessing category” but he will indeed be missed.
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12/30/2018 at 15:12
We lost my MIL right before Christmas and we have been having many of the same thoughts swirling through our heads. It makes Christmas tougher. Sending you good wishes on your writing group – from one writer to another. 📝
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01/01/2019 at 19:53
Thanks for the good wishes Maggie. I’m glad my thoughts are common with yours. I wish death wasn’t such a heartbreaking experience since it will always be part of this life.