An inward sucking noise
An outward swooshing
Over and Over
The ventilator keeps perfect time
The incessant beeping
When the IV bag is empty
“Someone” please turn it off
Where is everyone
Now a fall-alarm is blaring
My adrenalin rushes but
I hear no one running in response
Don’t they care
Too busy to answer call buttons
But I can hear them talking
How many people are working
Where is my friendly nurse
The meal-cart wheels squeak
Compartment doors slam
The tube prevents eating
My mind says I’m hungry
My God, it’s finally quiet
It’s peaceful
Am I dead
Written in response to Charli Mills August 13, 2021, prompt at Carrot Ranch Literary: In 99 words (no more, no less), write a story, using cacophony. You can use the word or show discordant sound inaction. How can you create literary cacophony with your words? This one might be of interest to poets as a literary device. Go where the prompt leads!
08/16/2021 at 15:03
Wow! I want to say more, but it’s a jumble that does not do justice to your words.
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08/16/2021 at 15:20
Thanks Ann. I’ve spent so much time visiting loved ones, a former boss and even a neighbor in the hospital that I know it is not a place of rest. Hopefully I won’t have to experience it for myself.
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08/18/2021 at 13:37
This is quite chilling, Susan.
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08/19/2021 at 01:41
A story for the times and not comforting sounds.
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08/19/2021 at 02:43
I read that last line as “I am dead” initially, and it was confronting, but I think it enhanced the piece’s deeply hopeful feeling when I reread it. What a rollercoaster of a story Sue, you draw the reader in with simple language and short sentences to craft a complex mix of emotions.
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08/19/2021 at 15:13
Wonderfully evocative, Susan.
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08/20/2021 at 00:44
its chilling, an experience no one wants to face. Great take on prompt 😍❤️
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08/20/2021 at 08:19
Thanks Simon. I’m the family hospital visitor. Luckily not the one in the bed.
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